Evening Conversation in the Car

A: I can't wait for tomorrow.

C: You're excited to be Superkid?

A: Yeah. Mom, try not to ruin my big day like you always do.

(Hmm. Not sure what is being referred to here, besides "bad cop" parenting like insisting on the wearing of leg coverings in December, and general killjoy mother status, but I will try my best. Something tells me it's not really under my control.)

She Blinded Me with Science

Okay, fellow Kindergarten parents, spoiler alert: my 6 year-old knows where babies come from. There have been many conversations over the years, mostly in the car, and no question asked went unanswered. Additional details were not necessarily added, but it's always been the facts, plain language, and an open dialogue kind of approach. I have on several occasions informed Adelaide that other kids do not necessarily possess these facts and she is by no means to be the one to enlighten them, but it's not exactly something over which I have any real say.

Well, now the Kindergarten class is studying "Animals Two by Two," a science kit that includes lots of live creatures, and the kids are choosing an animal to study and asking questions to learn about research. Adelaide chose dragonflies for her subject matter. After school yesterday she told me that they had had their opportunity to post their initial questions, and she revealed her question to be the following: "How do dragonflies mate?"

Watch out, everyone.

Happy Mother's Day

Mother's Day began at the crack of dawn around here, after many weeks of excited preparation on the part of the gift-giver. The honoree accepted her gifts with as much grace as she could muster (though she insisted on a pause after the first 3 gifts in order to make coffee). It was a good thing we started so early, because the gifts just kept coming and coming! Between her efforts at home, at school, at daycare with with her Dad's help, Adelaide created 12 different items for my enjoyment. They were all wonderful, especially the drawings and cards expressing much love. Here are a few faves:

This top secret item (below) was created at school and filled with other things created at school, including several cards and pictures, a cute little paper tea kettle, and Adelaide's shadow silhouette. You can see some of them in the big montage photo at the end of the post.
My hands-down favorite was this one, partly because it was a huge effort on her part (she cut the cardboard from the tandem box and it was a difficult and time-consuming project, which required total secrecy and privacy), but mainly because I told her what I loved most in the world was her, and so she gave that to me (note the label above the crown):

She gave me a lovely morning, too, with a dance party in the living room, a tandem ride, a picnic on the porch, and lots of hugs and laughter. I am so lucky. Not only did I get a great mother's day, I can give one to my mom and grandma just by posting these pictures to share. After all, they love me, but I am not cute or interesting in the slightest when compared with the granddaughter. Exactly as it should be. So, Happy Mother's Day to Paige and Big Adelaide!

Retirement Plan

Well, this blog has officially made its first revenue, though I'm not quite ready to quit my day job. I suppose I would have more time for posting, but really the transition back to school for the whole household has been all-consuming and has left me with plenty to post about, but no energy to do so.

But, back to the big, big profits. Earlier this year I experimented with ads on the blog, mainly as part of my own education to see what kinds of advertisers would show up based on my postings. I took them down after a short trial. Then I looked into the Juicebox Jungle widget (can currently be seen on my sidebar). I haven't done a lot of posting about them, but have been keeping my eye on their website to see if it has anything of interest. Really, for parenting videos, I tend to go to momversation.com, which is a site where blog-writing moms have a virtual video discussion of a topic a couple of times a week. But the latest Juicebox Jungle gig is that they've hooked up with Paper Culture eco-friendly service which addresses and mails your cards for you (birth announcements, invites etc.). The link I posted has a 30% discount for you, my many loyal readers. The sidebar links to ecards, which I have yet to check out. Since I tend to be rather lame with the mailing of birthday cards in a timely manner I am a frequent user of the ecard, and am always looking for a new source since many of the freebies are less than impressive.

In case you're worried that I'm selling out and going big-time, I'm keeping any ad-related posting to a minimum. Again, just an experiment. And so far, drum roll please, the big payout? Twenty-five cents.

The Way It Goes

I just have to share this commercial, whose product I find utterly disgusting, but whose comic relief is worth posting a commercial for. It's just one of those parenting moments that is not to be missed.

Morning Activity

Adelaide is, and always has been, an early riser. This time of year is particularly challenging for me because she is up with the sun, and that is before 5 a.m., an hour that I believe should only be greeted from the other side, and only when one has been having so much fun that one wanted to stay up until 5 a.m..

This morning I capitulated on the "no getting up before 6" rule (which has really become no getting up before 5:30 of late) because I knew it could possibly buy me a little more sleep. Adelaide has gotten quite good at entertaining herself in the wee hours while I moan softly and hold the pillow over my head. Usually she listens to a book on tape and putters around the living room, but this morning she decided that her stuffed animals all needed leashes. The construction of collars and leashes took almost 2 hours, and with the exception of a few bumps and thumps I got to sleep for most of that time.

Tonight at bedtime, Adelaide reluctantly made her way to her room to put on her pj's, and brought the gang and their leashes along. I had noticed early that baby Rose had a collar and leash but didn't find it particularly troublesome until I saw her being dragged through the house across the floor:I guess it could be worse. It's not like Adelaide's taking them behind her on a bike ride off her back fender or anything . . .

Modern Living

This morning we had a dilemma. Adelaide is sick today and on the couch in her pj's. When we talked about breakfast, she really wanted a muffin from the store across the street, but she didn't want to come with me to get it. Normally I would give her the choice of going or having something else for breakfast, but given the fact that she hadn't eaten for several meals I wanted to be more accommodating.

The solution: I took my cell phone with me and we talked as I walked over, bought her muffin (and a double espresso for me, it's going to be a long day), and walked home. Four minutes total, and she thought it was really fun. After the first minute she turned her book on cd on and I was not allowed to speak, only respond if she spoke to me. Of course, I might have liked four minutes of not being told "stop talking," but it was worth it to know she was safe and not afraid.

Mad Science

Recently I noticed that Adelaide has been using her art supplies in creative ways, and in fact is more interested in experimenting with glue and paint than using them for their intended purpose. Rather than getting annoyed by the messy outcomes, I decided to embrace her creativity and make a place where she could do more experimentation. While she was away visiting family I turned her room upside down and organized a science station. Now that she is home, science station is officially a hit!

The Electronic Babysitter

More parenting videos on JuiceBoxJungle

This episode seemed as brainless and wishy-washy as kids watching tv can get. Okay, I get it, people have circumstances which make them exert little or no parental controls over the kids' tv viewing. And their suggestions are fine (select the shows for them, watch with the kids, try to engage them in conversation [good luck with that one], limit the time), but if the point is that you need tv for an emergency babysitter or to get dinner made, you aren't going to be watching alongside the children, now are you?

TV watching is one of the battles I've picked, and frankly, it hasn't been a battle at all. At least not with my kid. Maybe internally, when I've wanted to get a break but haven't. Not to say that there is no TV viewing whatsoever in our house (I have become a far bigger consumer of TV since becoming a parent, aka not having a life), but for the child it is very limited. She absolutely loves it when she gets a chance, and it works perfectly when I really need it, but only because it is so rare. And because I don't rely on it to get dinner made, neither does she. Of course, I only have one kid, and I have many other advantages that have made that choice possible for me.

I guess I just think that our society in general needs to practice more intentionality in the media they expose themselves and their children to. After all, you could end up watching Lost.

Bathtime Conversation

I swear, this kid doesn't watch tv and doesn't see commercials, so this stuff just comes from her brain. Here's a little tidbit from last night's bath:

Me: Do you want to wash your hair now?

A: No, I want to save that soothing sensation for the end.

Calgon, take me away!

Morning Conversation

A: Is God real? (listening to "Ginger Pye," a story in which said deity is referenced)

C: God is something some people believe in, and some people don't.

A: I believe in God.

C: Yes?

A: God is a person who died.

C: I see.

Practicing my Practice

Today at yoga I used a new mantra in an attempt to clear my mind's clutter and get the most out of my time on the mat. I really felt a need to remind myself to be in the moment, to use my time to find release for my muscles and even more for my busy mind. Last night I woke several times in the night and realized I was planning and dreaming about work, t0-do lists, and ideas for some upcoming events in my future. Not a good night's sleep, and not something that I wanted to allow into my yoga practice.

When I reflect on being in the moment, being truly present, I realize that I have a lot of room to grow in this area. Part of it is simply the reality of balancing parenthood, work, domestic life, and pursuits outside of these fundamentals. It isn't realistic to only live in the moment, because life takes planning. And there are benefits to time spent reflecting on the past as well.

But I think it is a worthwhile goal to increase my overall awareness of how much time I spend multi-tasking, and to make conscious choices about when I am choosing that and when I am really depriving myself of the opportunity for a wonderful experience in the moment. I certainly want to be sure that I am not taking advantage of my daughter's ability to entertain herself to the point of not taking time to simply be with her, enjoy her, and give her part of my heart and soul every day.

Because she is very much in the present, as children are naturally. It is our natural state to live in the moment, and we have to learn to think about past and future. Children learn time concepts and how to answer "when" much later than they learn about action, and person, and even reasons. I spend a lot of time with my students and my child helping them gain knowledge from past experience and also make choices based on future outcomes. It is worthwhile and necessary, but I hope I can also step back and learn from what they have to offer: right now.

Merry-Go-Round

Today we had the good fortune to have sun all day and a warm afternoon outdoors to enjoy. Adelaide rode her bike with the masses at Greenlake while I walked alongside trying to prevent collisions. At the playground, also jammed packed, I noticed that despite the fact that there were children on every inch of the equipment and parents forming an almost unbroken ring on the perimeter, the mood was light and people were navigating through without much fuss. A little reprieve from the cold, wet, and dark really does a lot for the spirit here in the Northwest.

The most noticeable success story in the sharing and working together today happened at the merry-go-round. There were kids of all ages on there, mostly 4 and older, but a few smaller ones too, and they must have been at capacity if not pushing the limit a bit. The speed at which it was whirling around made it challenging for me to watch (I don't have to ride to get dizzy) but I couldn't take my eyes off of these kids. They negotiated an amazing number of factors with very little discussion, all while whirling around and sometimes leaning their heads back with pure joy. When things slowed, a few kids would hop off and run until it was fast again. When a smaller kid said "stop!" they had it slowed to a crawl almost instantly. When a new kid appeared on the scene wanting to climb on, they slowed it down enough for that child to run an hop on. No arguments, no negotiations, no tears or yelling or collisions. I don't know how they did it, but I do know I wanted to scoop those kids up and give them a hug for being so amazing.

I couldn't help but wonder what the freeway might look like if these kids were driving instead of their parents. I suppose there might be some speeding going on, but I bet you anything there wouldn't be any tailgating. Merging, changing lanes and the on- and off-ramps would be a breeze, and thank-you waves would be the norm.

W.M.D. (Weapons of Miniturized Disarmament)

I'd like to give a shout out to Alec, who inspired this post. I have long been a fan of Playmobil as a good gift item for the 4 - 8 year old set (birthday party season can be challenging, so a small stockpile of Playmobil is good to have on hand). We have used their Advent calendars two years in a row now as a fun way to count down the days to Christmas and have a nice thing to play with along the way (they have a little piece of the whole set in a box with the number for each day of December leading to the 25th). My daughter likes the toys but I think I like them more. They are so detailed as far as all the pieces they include, and they are just the kind of thing I would have been totally into as a kid. The ambulance has IV fluids, oxygen mast and a stretcher with legs and wheels that pop out when you take the patient out to the ER loading bay. The horseback rider has a little helmet and a bucket to feed her horse. The fairies have snap-on wings and bouquets and little pineapple and strawberry hats. It's really quite amazing.

The drawback of giving it as a gift, I have found, is that some details might be a little more than some of us want. I decided to disarm the motorcycle cop before wrapping him up, and having given the gift several times now, I have accumulated quite an arsenal of tiny instruments of force. These include billy clubs, rifles with scope, handguns, handcuffs, and knives.

So I found it particularly funny to read Alec's link, a review of the Playmobil security checkpoint which was actually lacking in realistic details. The reviewer and subsquent commentors had some good suggestions for other security related products (though I believe some of them are actually already available). I guess I could have left the weapons with the gifts I gave. Then we might have more use for the syringe, surgical scissors and bandages that came with our ambulance. Or I could make the Advent Calendar a little bit more exciting next year.

Family Circus

Remember the comic "Family Circus?" Or maybe I shouldn't say "remember," because it might still be being published. But when I think of it, I think of being a kid and finding it to be sappy and dumb. At some point I realized that there was a formula in place, a rotating group of themes which had slightly different content but basically the same message. There was the one where you see a trail of where the kid had been in the yard and house, and the things uprooted along the way. There's the one where something is broken and the kids blame "Ida Know," a ghost-like figure hovering in the background. There's the one where Daddy (Bill Keane) is on vacation so little Billy writes the comic, and the lettering is backward here and there and the drawings are like a kid did them. And then my favorite, the super sappy one with a reference to God or some other overused platitude.

I was trying to think of how I could do a blog post like the "daddy's on vacation" themed comic. As I write, Adelaide is waiting for me to give her some attention. So I explained to her that I wanted to see if she would be my guest author today. She asked me this:
Can I just do some words and like that time in the car when we were going to school you helped me spell them?

I told her yes, and she is ready to write. Over to you, guest blogger:When I was riding past a tree on my way to my friend's house, I saw something weird. It was "Hi, I'm Jeffery Bones. Have you ever seen a detective as good as me? I find all kinds of Nature. What do you do? I bet you don't find yellow cats every Sunday! I find them every Sunday, and I also find green blue jays, yellow forests, and even orange trees. You know what I like to find best? I like to find little girls on bikes with their moms."

It was hard to believe it, but that's what I saw! I love you grandma and grandpa, and I hope you enjoy my message. This was when I was out biking to Rachel's house. She's my friend. She has a little boy Noah that I like to play with. He has an igloo and a tunnel in his house. But I sure do like that Jeffrey Bones. And on the way back, instead of Jeffrey Bones, I saw this pirate that was wearing fourteen chains of emerald sapphires. He said to me, "Would you like to be a hugging pirate when you grow up? 'Cause that's what happens with lost kids. Maybe you could get lost and turn into one of me. We just sit around and watch television all the day."

Rules for Parents of Preschoolers

Rules for Parents of Preschoolers:

Help Me!

Don't help me! I can do it myself!

Tell me about that.

Don't tell me, I already know that.

I saw it first.

I go first.

Make me THIS to eat.

I don't want THIS to eat.

It's my turn.

Let me carry that.

Take this, I don't want to carry it.

It's still my turn.

Let me talk to you.

No, I don't want to talk to grandma on the phone.

I am always right.

It's my turn again.

I'm bored.

I'm NOT tired.

I'm hungry.

I'm hungry for cookies, not green beans.

I thought of that first.

Find me.

Don't find me!

Watch me.

Don't look at me!

No.

Tricks for Treats

We have managed to avoid candy for the most part for our now 4 and 1/2 year old. She has had a very occasional something at a party or other event where it would have been a big fuss to say no, but for the most part she doesn't eat much sugar and when she does it is in things that are real food.

This year, however, she is very determined to go trick-or-treating. I'm not even sure she knows exactly what it is, but her friends have probably filled her in on the glorious details. I've actually been very impressed at her creativity and planning for the holiday. We went to the fabric store a few weeks ago and picked up some supplies, and while I had intended to do some very simple costume creating, Adelaide actually commandeered some fabric and created her own. Couple of leg holes, place for the head, flip it over the back and voila, Princess of the Unicorns. So I am feeling good about the majority of aspects of this holiday. We decorated her room, carved pumpkins, and have done lots and lots of creating.

But I still couldn't reconcile myself to the big bag of candy. I want this holiday to be fun because of all of the things we are doing beforehand, not because we are going to drop everything and load up on lots of things we work so hard to stay away from (myself included). We have given out prizes (playdo, glow sticks, small toys, etc.) to the kids who come to our door, but we can't count on that when we knock on our neighbor's doors on Friday.
I would rather not simply say "no" to trick-or-treating. Nor would I like to take away the treats once she has collected them. I think the lesson in that would be "mom doesn't let me" rather than "this isn't the best choice for my body." So I have devised a system to entice Adelaide to choose for herself. Enter, the prize list. I found lots of good stuff for the trick-or-treaters (playdo again, but also Halloween watches, whistles, spiders and glasses), and then I went for a few big-ticket ($2 and $3) items. I made a brochure (didn't want to explain what will happen to the items she doesn't choose, which is that she will likely get them, too, just doled out later) and Adelaide can use it to select which items she wants to trade her candy for. I am going to encourage her to just keep one or two pieces of candy to eat, and to use most of what she gets for things that will last a long time and provide her with more fun than a quick sugar hit.
I know that I won't be able to prevent all the candy, junk food, and other unhealthy things from being available to Adelaide, and being too controlling will likely backfire. But I do remain hopeful that by educating my daughter about healthy choices and providing her with support and guidance in how to make those choices, I can give her a foundation to draw on later when she is faced with all the temptation which we deal with almost everywhere we go.

Adelaide's Day with her Mom (Title by Adelaide)

Adelaide did not get enough sleep for the first few nights this week. Which meant that our first day home together, yesterday, was a series of negotiations, name-calling and diversions intended to distract a crabby 4 year-old from her own grumpiness. The end result was a day of parenting that I am actually quite proud of. We talked through how to express frustration, how to identify feelings and use words to inform others of them, and how to move on when things don't go your way. By the end of the day, Adelaide was telling me that she was disappointed about not going out to Pho for dinner, rather than telling me she will never eat Pho that I cook and she hates it (well, she did say that first, but was able to revise).We had our first longer bike ride together (the picture is from our test ride Sunday), in the rain and up some hills, and it was a success. Hard pedaling for me but Adelaide just needs another half inch or so until she can pedal too. We went to run some errands and Adelaide picked out a lovely matching set of jewelry for her and Princess Presto (who also came along for the bike ride).
All in all it was a good day, and I continue to discover areas for self-improvement via the things I am trying to teach my daughter. Wouldn't it be great if I could verbalize calmly about my feelings of anger and frustration, resolve my conflicts with others, and move on happily.

Digging for gold

Until today we've been harvesting potatoes on an as-needed basis. We head out with our dirty garden shoes on, with or without our gloves, and find a plant that is close to done or all done. We've been digging up supper, or a gift for a friend, or some for a soup for later. We seem to have an unending supply, and we haven't been very thorough or careful thus far.

According to my planting and harvesting guide, the baby potatoes are best eaten the day they are dug. For potatoes that are to be stored and eaten months later, the best practice is to dig them, then allow them to cure in the field for 2 or 3 days. So this afternoon we started the process of harvesting some of the potatoes which we will store and eat this fall and winter. We moved from plant to plant, brushing off loose and not-so-loose dirt, and piling our booty in the dirt behind us.

We have probably dug up about a third of the potatoes so far. I think we have enough time to wait to harvest the rest, since we aren't in danger of frost too soon. The issue here is more likely to be heavy rain. I think we'll want to have most of them dug by the end of the month, and we may have to cure them in the garage so they won't get rained on. I ended up putting today's haul in a container because I was worried about animals. Mostly the neighborhood cats, who have been using patch as a litter box here and there. Would hate to come back to the pile and find some cat had marked it as theirs.

The potatoes have been a very fun and easy experiment. I highly recommend it for its high yield in delicious food, for very little investment of time and effort.