Land of the Lost in the 70's

I am a "Lost" viewer. A reluctant, annoyed, but still somewhat amused one, to be sure. So reader, you may go ahead and judge me, but my guess is you fall into one of these categories:

A) You barely even know what "Lost" is, so you are less than interested in this post.

B) You love "Lost" and think it is great television, so you find it annoying that I might be gearing up to dis your show (I'm not, not really).

C) You think "Lost" is inane and its viewers must be, too. (But if you know enough to have this opinion, you must have watched it at least a little bit, right?)

D) You are like me. You kind of hate this show, but feel a little defensive when your husband points out how similar it is to stories he wrote as an imaginative but inexperienced 3rd grade writer. (Though it is certainly true.)

Which brings me to part one of my theory. I arrived at this idea through a very circuitous route, so bare with me through a bit of stream-of-consciousness flow here.

Firstly, the current (and perhaps now fading) trend back towards 70's spin-off fashion had me thinking that the eyewear of the day inspired the scary bad guys on the 70's kids show "Land of the Lost." Apparently I was not the only one who made this connection, as a quick Google search showed:


I guess Sid and Marty Krofft (producers) or the sci-fi writers involved in the show had nightmares of visiting grandma down in Florida mixed with repressed childhood fears of being abandoned their by their parents. The combination of grandma's wrinkly flopping neck skin, her giant shades, having left her dentures out and her teetering slowly over for a hug is basically the same as a Sleestak reaching for Will and Holly as they run in retreat from a failed attempt to access the pylon and get home. Just add green spray paint.

So where does "Lost" fit in? Well, here's one theory. J.J. Abrams would have been 8 years old when "Land of the Lost" was on the air. Let's suppose J.J. was already an aspiring writer at the age of 8. He comes home from school, grabs a couple of Chips A'Hoy and a glass of milk, and plops down to watch some boob tube before he does his homework. "Land of the Lost" is one of his favorite shows (though he no longer wants to come to the phone to speak to grandma when she calls). After saturating his brain with the desperate struggles of the Marshall family to leave this strange island with its dinosaurs, weird time shifts, and sudden loss of dad only to be replaced by uncle, J.J. turns to his English homework and pens a creative story of castaways on a hostile island moving in place and time. "Great ideas!" comments his teacher at the top of the page. "Very creative. Some characters seem to appear out of nowhere, however, and you need to work on a logical conclusion. Good effort, J.J.!"

Fast forward 30 years, and J.J. has wrapped up his college years memories with the lovely Felicity, and is thinking about a new project. The idea comes to him on a trip home for Grandma's funeral, as he is poking through boxes of his old pictures and schoolwork in mom's basement. What about time travel, an island, the 70's, unexplained creatures and castaways trying to get back to their world . . .

I think it's entirely possible. And in the words of Eloise Hawking (and J.J.'s 3rd grade English teacher), "Oh stop thinking how ridiculous it is, and start asking yourself whether or not you believe it's going to work."