Reciprocity? Virtually Absent

Let me preface this post by saying that I am going to complain. Not a big complaint, not too whiny (I hope), but just a bit of something that has been troubling me today and recently.

I mentioned earlier this summer that I was going to be taking a creative writing class. Thursday will be my last one, and I have found it useful and enjoyable. The instructor is a nice guy, and goes above and beyond the call of duty, I think, by giving us an "open inbox" policy (my new term). Basically, he will read anything you send him and give you feedback on it. He also will send things out to the group for feedback if you ask him to. He tells you what he thinks about your story, asks a few questions and gives a suggestion or two to improve or expand on what you've done. So far I think I've sent 5 things. 3 were assignments from class and 2 were stories I had written prior to starting class. He's responded to all of them, within a day or two of my sending them. I think it's pretty impressive.

What I have found much less impressive, by far, is the group in the class. Not their writing, so much (though there is a wide, wide range of abilities in my opinion), nor the comments and dialog in class. People have been helpful and supportive to one another when listening to stories read aloud. But here is what I don't understand -- there has been virtually no feedback for stories emailed to the group. At least to me, and from what I gather, to most other people, too. Now, I am not complaining that people aren't taking time to read and re-read my little missives, not at all. (I actually only asked my instructor to send my 2 shortest things to the group, as I thought too much would be obnoxious.) Several people have said in class that they have been reading everything, but have been overwhelmed by the volume of what is getting sent out, and haven't had time to comment. I can totally understand this.

But. If this many people are sending something out hoping to receive feedback, then they must realize that they bear some responsibility to also give some feedback. I know I wasn't really interested in reading beyond the first few lines of many of the things sent out, but I decided it would be a good idea to respond to as many as I could. After all, I wanted to see what people would say about my writing.

So I wrote a brief note to every person who sent something out. I read each thing at least twice, because I didn't think I could really comment on what needed changing if I breezed through. Some things I had to read even more times because it took a long time to come up with anything positive to say. Others I thought were great as is, and I told the authors as much.

Of the people I gave feedback to, only two wrote back to say thank you. Only one wrote some feedback on either of my stories.

So, I think I read about 15 things and responded to them, and I received one piece of feedback on what I had sent out. Not exactly balanced. Alarmingly similar to our general societal trend, which can tend towards a chorus of "me me me" and a gross lack of ability to empathize with others or think of the bigger picture.

On Thursday as part of our last class, we have the opportunity to exchange email addresses and talk about forming a writer's group. I originally thought I might like to participate in something like this, because I was impressed with how people commented on the first story that was shared. It was a really irritating, long ramble that jumped tenses, had no editing as far as I could tell based on the errors, typos and just random fragments. The woman who wrote it had spent the greater part of the first class clacking away loudly on her laptop while the instructor spoke, and left 2/3 of the way through the class. She described her writing as similar to David Sedaris. It read more like a transcript of a drunk woman's rant about her ex-husband and what a dick he was. Basically it seemed like group therapy might be a better choice for this woman than creative writing, but everyone in class found something very kind and positive to say. They also very gently pointed out the problems with the writing. So, I was impressed.

After these weeks of people sending out their writing, I am fairly certain I will not try to continue with this group, because while they seem to have their act together in person, they totally suck via email. And to be real, I won't really have the time to meet frequently enough to make it worth my while once the school year starts, so I'll be left with email as the main connection. It seems a little crazy to write off a group of people based on their lack of online courtesy, but this is how it is for me. It's a bit ironic, given that I really wanted that classroom experience, and that part was good. I guess now I could try an online course, and maybe I'll have a better experience with the virtual people. Could be that it was a self-selecting group of people who just do better face-to-face than when asked to do their part via their inbox.