Haute Couture, en Voiture.

These days, when driving, you're either in, or you're out. Former faux pas on the road are all the rage, and what was once hot, is not. Here are a few tips to help you keep up with the trendiest traffic.

In: The cell-phone weave. Show some flair by drifting over lane lines and alternately slowing and speeding your pace while you fiddle with your phone. An air of casual chic is easily achieved with one hand on the wheel. The boldest divas of fashion will drive no-handed as they text the latest gossip with both thumbs flying.

Out: The thank-you wave. Would you be seen in legwarmers? I didn't think so. So don't be seen flashing the thank-you wave. The only fashion-forward driving is eyes straight ahead or in the make-up mirror. Do not acknowledge the drivers who let you in or you may as well be one of them. You can't get ahead in this world without stepping on the backs of those less fashionable than you.

In: The Taxi-Stop. This darling little maneuver replaces the tired old stop, the one where you used to hit the brakes in time to no longer be moving at the stop sign. Now, the hot trend is to glide about a car-length past the stop sign, then pause. If you must come to a full stop due to pesky cross-traffic, be sure to have already entered the intersection. Scowl at oncoming drivers to indicate your displeasure at them for cramping your style.

Out: The Turn Signal. Please, people, do not bore me with your little flashing light. Anyone who is anyone knows, to use a blinker is so 1999. Keep them guessing by slowing down and stopping for no apparent reason, then make your turn. You are sure to dazzle with your air of mystery and spontaneity.

Out: “Baby on Board” signage. I should not need to explain.

In: Para-military vehicle to surround your child with massive hunks of metal. All the hip kids are way up high, burning fossil fuels for fashion. In the event of a crash, your child will make the A-list by simply destroying the competition.

Out: Stopping for a red light at its onset. Red is the new yellow, folks, so be sure to cruise on through that light. Don't be seen slowing for last year's amber or you will be the laughingstock of the intersection.

In: Tail-gating plus. Add a twist to this timeless classic. With your oversized SUV, your lights will be at eye level for any poser in an economy car. You'll blind the masses with your dazzling evening glare.

To sum it up, fashionistas, just remember these simple words: me, me, me. Drive like you are the reason there are roads, and you will stay ahead of the curve.