Dancing in the Dark: Earth Hour 2009

Earth hour took place a couple of nights ago and I participated by turning off the lights and unplugging some of the plugged-in items in our home. The official hour was 8:30 - 9:30 p.m. local time, but as I have been ill and going to bed around 8:00, I decided I'd try not to turn on the lights at all since daylight is lasting longer of late. The challenges for me were the dishes (gave up and turned on the lights since I didn't want to have to re-do them in the morning, and it was only 7:30 p.m.) and measuring my cough syrup (used the cell phone to see which bottle, and then just had a slightly larger dose than usual when I poured too much). No pictures to post but you can conjure up your own mental image of me fumbling in the bathroom with too much cough syrup and too little toothpaste.

Fortunately photographers were on hand elsewhere in the world where the event was a bit more dramatic.photo copyright REUTERS/Taipei 101/Handout

The Electronic Babysitter

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This episode seemed as brainless and wishy-washy as kids watching tv can get. Okay, I get it, people have circumstances which make them exert little or no parental controls over the kids' tv viewing. And their suggestions are fine (select the shows for them, watch with the kids, try to engage them in conversation [good luck with that one], limit the time), but if the point is that you need tv for an emergency babysitter or to get dinner made, you aren't going to be watching alongside the children, now are you?

TV watching is one of the battles I've picked, and frankly, it hasn't been a battle at all. At least not with my kid. Maybe internally, when I've wanted to get a break but haven't. Not to say that there is no TV viewing whatsoever in our house (I have become a far bigger consumer of TV since becoming a parent, aka not having a life), but for the child it is very limited. She absolutely loves it when she gets a chance, and it works perfectly when I really need it, but only because it is so rare. And because I don't rely on it to get dinner made, neither does she. Of course, I only have one kid, and I have many other advantages that have made that choice possible for me.

I guess I just think that our society in general needs to practice more intentionality in the media they expose themselves and their children to. After all, you could end up watching Lost.

Cold-Buster, Part II

Things have gone from bad to worse for me health-wise, such that I have not been well enough to cook anything. Which has been okay, since I've had no appetite, but the meals I have had have been far too reliant on processed food, making me feel even worse. So tonight I threw together a cheat version of Pho, heavy on the spice and light on prep. Forgot garlic at the store (having eaten my way through my entire supply) so relied on chilies and ginger to heat this up. Threw in some deli tofu (also spiced with chilies), some shiitakes, lemongrass, cilantro, lime and a bunch of broccoli, and rice noodles. Here's hoping this concoction can take the place of the nasty cough syrup I have been resorting to.

Bathtime Conversation

I swear, this kid doesn't watch tv and doesn't see commercials, so this stuff just comes from her brain. Here's a little tidbit from last night's bath:

Me: Do you want to wash your hair now?

A: No, I want to save that soothing sensation for the end.

Calgon, take me away!

Shut up and Teach.

I just read an article in the NEA (National Education Association) Newsletter which I found rather disturbing. It drew me in via email with this tagline: What you post on MySpace and Facebook in your free time might just cost you your job. As a Facebook user and blogger, I was curious to see what the article had to say. For the most part, I am not concerned about writing and posting online. I generally think I edit myself appropriately and don't post anything explicit or inappropriate. Most of the teachers who were fired or disciplined for their activities online did not appear to do that. But this line was quite disturbing to me: But what about free speech? Don't school employees have the right, on their own time, to blog about their private lives without fear of losing their jobs? Probably not.

This feels like one more way we have unrealistic expectations for our teachers. No, it is not unrealistic to say that teachers need to have appropriate conduct in and out of the classroom. But to me, the fact that we don't care to pay our teachers a decent wage, yet we hold them to extreme expectations for continuing education, standards of excellence in their work, all with very little economic support or social respect, is simply unacceptable. Now we are going to take away their right to free speech, too?

Cold-Buster

Today's lunch was a combination comfort food/medicinal meal, as I have been under the weather for over a week. I'm hoping the copious garlic and jalepeno in this dish is enough to burn away this chest cold and let me breathe (fire). Let's just hope it doesn't burn out my stomach, too.
The beans: canned black beans with a clove of raw garlic, heated just through. The sauce: cumin, smoked paprika, 6 cloves (or so) and a jalepeno brought to life in a couple tablespoons of olive oil, then cooked into diced tomatoes (canned) and pureed (left chunky) with the immersion blender. Two over easy eggs cooked with more garlic and jalepeno, two sprouted grain corn tortillas and a little cilantro. Stand back, germs!

And from a couple of weeks ago, a super healthy corn/bean/quinoa stew with carrots, celery, spinach, tomato and similar spices to the heuvos, but in moderation. This one was excellent on its own and re-heated with some tamales, then later as a soup with tomato soup to thin it out.

Like, I totally had to unfriend my dad after he got all up in my business like we were BFF's

A Seattle times editorial popping up in my facebook feed today has brought up an issue that I have been thinking and chatting about since taking the social media plunge. Basically this college student "unfriended" her dad after he questioned her about things he read on her facebook page.

Image Copyright Seattle Times

While the I understand the underlying issues of privacy and worlds colliding (yes, the way you chat with your BFF's is different than with your great-aunt, or for us "old" people on facebook, the way you chat with your work colleagues, child's friends' parents, neighbors and high school acquaintances are all different than the way you chat with your "real" friends), mostly I just find the writer of this article to be a whiny, egotistical, annoying little head-up-her-ass college student. Get over yourself! So, you have no problem with posting your stupidity when you think you are controlling who sees it, but Daddy doesn't understand how it's all just a great big laugh? I get that college students are using Facebook in an entirely different way than us fuddy-duddy 30 and 40-somethings. I have 2 "friends" in college whom I love dearly but basically I don't really bother to look at their walls because they are written in a foreign language. It's called Teenage, and I'm certain I used to speak it but it has undergone enough dialect transformations that it is no longer comprehensible to me. Just as having 500+ friends is similarly incomprehensible. Plus, to be honest, what I do understand is simply not interesting enough for me to get worked up over. Sure, it might be different if it were my kid, but I think you either have established an adult relationship with your college-aged son or daughter, or like the author, you haven't. In which case, don't bother "friending" them. You have to have an understanding of who someone is and how they interact both digitally and in "real" life, or no amount of web connection will actually connect you.

I have had many people ask me about Facebook and blogging and whether I have concerns about people reading what I have written. I am fairly straightforward and forthcoming in person and in these media, but of course I apply filters and make choices about what I say and write. I find that for the most part, the responses I get are positive. People can read my opinions and form whatever opinions they want to about what I've written. I don't intend to offend anyone, and hope that I am open-minded enough to have a discussion with a reader about a hot topic. Mostly I think my readers' experiences will be like mine with some facebook friends -- either I am curious to hear more, or it's basically just not of interest to me.

I think that different users of Facebook can use it in different ways without it creating big problems. But individuals need to take responsibility for the choices they make online, and either apply privacy filters and choose not to friend those with whom they do not want to share those choices, or deal with the consequences.

Oh, and if you want to learn more about how to use Facebook and Facebook privacy, come to my Media Mamas workshop on Saturday May 2nd! We'll be talking about posting family photos online, privacy issues, and how to help kids learn about online safety.

Grandparents

I stumbled on this parenting site today and am curious to see if the model they are using works. They are linking with parent bloggers out there on parenting topics, this particular one being how to deal with grandparents.

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I've heard some pretty amusing stories of grandparents seeming to have lost touch entirely with their parenting skills by the time their kids have offspring. From indulging them with sugary treats and overloading them with toys and gifts to saying "they wanted to" as a reason for jumping on the furniture, some grandparents seem to have thrown their judgment out the window when it comes to their new little darlings. But I think there is a certain natural flow from parent to grandparent that allows for more indulgences, and it is part of the bonding between grandchild and grandparent.

In our family's case, seeing the grandparents is a big treat for all of us, because they live far away and so it requires a plane trip for us or them to get together. We are lucky, too, that our parents respect the choices we have made as parents and do their best to follow our rules when they are spending time with Adelaide. But I think it goes both ways, because I am able to be more relaxed about what is and isn't okay when the grandparents are in charge because it is really a treat, and Adelaide knows that. I agree with the conclusions this video clip comes to for the most part, but for parents that are relying on a grandma for fairly consistent babysitting I do think that having a conversation and laying some ground rules is important. In the case of parents and grandparents whose styles differ in the extreme, the parents need to choose their battles and come to an agreement with the grandparents on what things simply aren't acceptable. As a mom you have to play the bad cop all the time with the kids, so suck it up and talk to your mom or mother-in-law about the ice cream for breakfast. Kids certainly can learn that there are different rules with grandma than with mom, but for grandma's sake I think it's better if her rules don't clash with your big-picture family choices.

I was a nanny for a family in Germany who hired me to give Grandma some relief. She basically could no longer handle the 3 1/2 year-old son for more than a half day, because she was unable to set any boundaries with him. Of course, in this case her choices were similar to the parents (his mom once came home and gleefully announced that the boy had eaten 3 ice cream cones, wasn't he so amazing), but as an outsider to the family I could see that they were creating a little monster by indulging this kid's every whim. The video talks about the benefits of the child getting in touch with the family heritage by spending time with grandma, but shouldn't they also be given the opportunity to respect grandma?

Land of the Lost in the 70's

I am a "Lost" viewer. A reluctant, annoyed, but still somewhat amused one, to be sure. So reader, you may go ahead and judge me, but my guess is you fall into one of these categories:

A) You barely even know what "Lost" is, so you are less than interested in this post.

B) You love "Lost" and think it is great television, so you find it annoying that I might be gearing up to dis your show (I'm not, not really).

C) You think "Lost" is inane and its viewers must be, too. (But if you know enough to have this opinion, you must have watched it at least a little bit, right?)

D) You are like me. You kind of hate this show, but feel a little defensive when your husband points out how similar it is to stories he wrote as an imaginative but inexperienced 3rd grade writer. (Though it is certainly true.)

Which brings me to part one of my theory. I arrived at this idea through a very circuitous route, so bare with me through a bit of stream-of-consciousness flow here.

Firstly, the current (and perhaps now fading) trend back towards 70's spin-off fashion had me thinking that the eyewear of the day inspired the scary bad guys on the 70's kids show "Land of the Lost." Apparently I was not the only one who made this connection, as a quick Google search showed:


I guess Sid and Marty Krofft (producers) or the sci-fi writers involved in the show had nightmares of visiting grandma down in Florida mixed with repressed childhood fears of being abandoned their by their parents. The combination of grandma's wrinkly flopping neck skin, her giant shades, having left her dentures out and her teetering slowly over for a hug is basically the same as a Sleestak reaching for Will and Holly as they run in retreat from a failed attempt to access the pylon and get home. Just add green spray paint.

So where does "Lost" fit in? Well, here's one theory. J.J. Abrams would have been 8 years old when "Land of the Lost" was on the air. Let's suppose J.J. was already an aspiring writer at the age of 8. He comes home from school, grabs a couple of Chips A'Hoy and a glass of milk, and plops down to watch some boob tube before he does his homework. "Land of the Lost" is one of his favorite shows (though he no longer wants to come to the phone to speak to grandma when she calls). After saturating his brain with the desperate struggles of the Marshall family to leave this strange island with its dinosaurs, weird time shifts, and sudden loss of dad only to be replaced by uncle, J.J. turns to his English homework and pens a creative story of castaways on a hostile island moving in place and time. "Great ideas!" comments his teacher at the top of the page. "Very creative. Some characters seem to appear out of nowhere, however, and you need to work on a logical conclusion. Good effort, J.J.!"

Fast forward 30 years, and J.J. has wrapped up his college years memories with the lovely Felicity, and is thinking about a new project. The idea comes to him on a trip home for Grandma's funeral, as he is poking through boxes of his old pictures and schoolwork in mom's basement. What about time travel, an island, the 70's, unexplained creatures and castaways trying to get back to their world . . .

I think it's entirely possible. And in the words of Eloise Hawking (and J.J.'s 3rd grade English teacher), "Oh stop thinking how ridiculous it is, and start asking yourself whether or not you believe it's going to work."

Post-Bedtime Conversation

A: Mom, Iris is in my room.

Me: Okay. Iris, come here!

A: Iris is still in here.

Me: (Making kissing noises cats find irresistible), Iree, come here kitty.

A: She's not coming out.

Me: Just ignore her honey, and she'll leave.

A: Okay.

A: (Quietly) Iris, I'm ignoring you but I still love you.

Spring Snow

This morning we had snowflakes the size of small pancakes.

Basketball

Basketball, at ages 3 and 4:

What I Didn't Know

Discovered on an Afternoon's Stroll on Capitol Hill (a Seattle Neighborhood):

• Rainbow Grocery is no more. Now it is a toy store, so you're stuck with the tiny organic section at QFC.
• Clear skies and bright sun do not always equal warmth. (How quickly one forgets ones roots).
• There are people who still smoke in Seattle. In fact, the sidewalks on Broadway are basically a giant ashtray, and 15th is not all that much better.
• You can no longer buy piroshky on Broadway, you have to go downtown.
• It is challenging, but possible, to enter a bakery and have only tea.
• It is very hard not to stare at a midget when they are walking nearby.
• The WaMu/Chase Bank on Broadway has a dumb sign, a security guard and friendly tellers.
  
• If you want something waxed, you'll need an appointment.

The Ocean

Hugh Laurie - "A Protest Song"

Morning Conversation, again

I got to sleep in quite late this morning, which was a real treat. Of course, the sleeping in was interrupted at 5: 45 a.m. and every 15 minutes or so thereafter with updates from Adelaide on what I was missing by still being asleep, but it was worth it to stay in bed. The last of these little interruptions went something like this.

A: Mom, you slept through breakfast.

Me: (Sigh.)

A: (3 inches from my face) Mom, I need some fresh air.

Me: Mmfph.

A: Because mom, your breath smells like a rotten banana.

Me: (laughing) Sorry hon. Maybe you should back up a little bit.

A: Well, I think you should chew some of Daddy's gum.

Me: Oh?

A: Yes, because Daddy chews gum and he has perfumed kisses.

Me: I'll bear that in mind.

Young Love

Adelaide has recently been talking about how much she loves one of her preschool teachers, Rachel. At first, I must admit, I wasn't even certain which teacher it was, as she was not a teacher who I crossed paths with much on drop-off or pick-up. But when it became clear that Adelaide's attachment was very strong, I made an effort to connect with the teacher and let her know she has a big fan.Love turned to near-obsession a few weeks ago, when Adelaide decided that she wanted Rachel to babysit. I am not sure how the idea got started, but it was determined that babysitting was a possibility. No specifics were nailed down at that point, just a general agreement: we wanted to have her babysit, and she was willing.

That was when things got over the top. The questioning became incessant: Was Rachel REALLY going to babysit, WHEN was Rachel going to babysit, can Rachel come babysit TODAY!?, etc. I tried to reassure and explain, yes, she would babysit, no, not today, we had to talk and find a time, etc. The conversations about Rachel happened every day, sometimes 10 or 20 times in a day.

Next we got the news that Rachel was going to be leaving Adelaide's school to take a course herself, and was going to be back but only as a substitute. Now I felt more motivated to have a solid date on the calendar, to reduce the endless questioning and also to ensure that we got a connection established at home prior to Rachel being gone from the school. I feel certain that Adelaide will still enjoy school and her other teachers, but I don't want her to feel she won't be able to see her favorite teacher in the future.

Along with the endless questions about Rachel, there have been many statements of love, both verbal and in art creations. First it was Valentine cards, then "Happy Last Day"notes, then books, stickers, sculptures, jewelry and cards, all created with intensity and delivered to Rachel at school. This past Wednesday was our last opportunity to deliver the items, so now they are piling up in various places around the house. I returned home this morning to find this shrine on the chair near Adelaide's art table:Inside the envelope are several cards and gifts created earlier this week. It is decorated and wrapped with the necklace and bracelet created yesterday and today. The list was compiled by me as a strategy to not leave every toy and item out (Adelaide wanted to leave them out to remember that she wants to do them with Rachel). Writing by me, underlining by Adelaide. It had its origins here:(the text reads do dw wif Rachel, translation 'do this with Rachel').

Adelaide has found some really creative ways to verbally demonstrate her love for Rachel as well. Firstly, she has determined that age difference and gender issues aside, she intends to marry Rachel when she grows up. Secondly, my many flaws are pointed out to me in the context of how Rachel does not have them. These range from my parenting choices to physical features (apparently, I am "big" while Rachel is "thin," for example.). Yesterday Adelaide told me, "Mom, when I grow up, I'm going to write a book. And I'm going to dedicate it. To Rachel."

Of all the things my child could be obsessed with, I am certainly glad it is a teacher. I am fairly certain that as I get to know Rachel better, I will find her to be a wonderful person, as Adelaide has good taste and judges people based on their best qualities, kindness, and treatment of her and others. For now, though, I'd better get busy re-stocking the art supplies. I expect there will be a frenzy of production before and after the big day, "Rachel Babysits Day."