Like, I totally had to unfriend my dad after he got all up in my business like we were BFF's

A Seattle times editorial popping up in my facebook feed today has brought up an issue that I have been thinking and chatting about since taking the social media plunge. Basically this college student "unfriended" her dad after he questioned her about things he read on her facebook page.

Image Copyright Seattle Times

While the I understand the underlying issues of privacy and worlds colliding (yes, the way you chat with your BFF's is different than with your great-aunt, or for us "old" people on facebook, the way you chat with your work colleagues, child's friends' parents, neighbors and high school acquaintances are all different than the way you chat with your "real" friends), mostly I just find the writer of this article to be a whiny, egotistical, annoying little head-up-her-ass college student. Get over yourself! So, you have no problem with posting your stupidity when you think you are controlling who sees it, but Daddy doesn't understand how it's all just a great big laugh? I get that college students are using Facebook in an entirely different way than us fuddy-duddy 30 and 40-somethings. I have 2 "friends" in college whom I love dearly but basically I don't really bother to look at their walls because they are written in a foreign language. It's called Teenage, and I'm certain I used to speak it but it has undergone enough dialect transformations that it is no longer comprehensible to me. Just as having 500+ friends is similarly incomprehensible. Plus, to be honest, what I do understand is simply not interesting enough for me to get worked up over. Sure, it might be different if it were my kid, but I think you either have established an adult relationship with your college-aged son or daughter, or like the author, you haven't. In which case, don't bother "friending" them. You have to have an understanding of who someone is and how they interact both digitally and in "real" life, or no amount of web connection will actually connect you.

I have had many people ask me about Facebook and blogging and whether I have concerns about people reading what I have written. I am fairly straightforward and forthcoming in person and in these media, but of course I apply filters and make choices about what I say and write. I find that for the most part, the responses I get are positive. People can read my opinions and form whatever opinions they want to about what I've written. I don't intend to offend anyone, and hope that I am open-minded enough to have a discussion with a reader about a hot topic. Mostly I think my readers' experiences will be like mine with some facebook friends -- either I am curious to hear more, or it's basically just not of interest to me.

I think that different users of Facebook can use it in different ways without it creating big problems. But individuals need to take responsibility for the choices they make online, and either apply privacy filters and choose not to friend those with whom they do not want to share those choices, or deal with the consequences.

Oh, and if you want to learn more about how to use Facebook and Facebook privacy, come to my Media Mamas workshop on Saturday May 2nd! We'll be talking about posting family photos online, privacy issues, and how to help kids learn about online safety.