Rest in Peace, David Crockett Prillaman

Some of my earliest memories of grandpa are of him at the head of the table in the breakfast room at the house he lived in when I was a child, (we called it "the point"). We ate most of the meals there, so I guess it was the breakfast room to differentiate it from the dining room, where the enormously long table stretched in front of the enormously wide picture window with its view of the lake.

Grandpa sat at the end of the table farthest from the kitchen, and he usually said grace when we sat for a family dinner. I sat on his right, close enough for him to reach over and pretend to grab my nose. He'd show it to me, his thumb wedged between his first two fingers, teasing me for a while before he “put it back.” He also really liked to try to catch my brother Dave and I with “inch me and pinch me were walking on a dock . . . .“ I find I use all of these now with Adelaide.

When I was little and even on a few visits in my 20's and 30's, Grandpa and I were co-conspirators in getting Grandma to cook us our favorite supper, her fabulous mac and cheese. My mouth still waters picturing him cutting into that crusty top with the big serving spoon. I would watch carefully, hoping to get a big serving with lots of the big cheese globs. I also remember how pleased he was when it was finally the day for “b and e,” his favorite breafast of bacon and eggs, which he was only served once a week. He got bumped up to twice a week some time in his 80's, I think. Grandpa was also always good for a trip to the DQ after supper. He never minded if you drank one of his cokes, and he used the whiskey glass I gave him for Christmas one year for years and years, as long as he still drank his Tanqueray martini before supper.

I remember heading out on the pontoon boat with Grandpa at the wheel. It was a slow trip but I liked it better than zooming around on the neighbor's motorboat. I have a lot of memories of Grandpa on his riding tractor, mowing the huge amount of lawn or plowing out the road down to Great-Grandpa Mayhew's cabin. He took excellent care of the point, including maintaining the mountain golf course for us grandkids to enjoy on our visits.

When I was nine we took a trip to Southern Pines and saw where Grandpa grew up. Dave and Grandpa and I spent an afternoon watching a house on a truck move slowly from one spot in town to another. Grandpa's sister Mary Jane was so pleased to have us all there for a visit, and clearly so proud of her brother and his family.

I think about the way the world changed in Grandpa's lifetime and am amazed at how much he saw. He overcame the obstacles of his childhood and got himself to Duke for college. He saw his future bride at the freshman welcome mixer and pursued her until she gave in. He worked his way up at Sears Roebuck until he was making an acceptable salary to marry her, $25 a week. He lived through World War Two, putting in his army service in Seattle, living in a room in a house up the hill from the port and eating donuts on the walk home from work. He bought the 2nd brand new car sold by the dealer in Seattle in 1945 when his service and the war were done, and drove it basically non-stop until he and Grandma were back home in Minneapolis.Grandpa continued to serve others through his lifetime, working with elderly people to help them on their taxes. He was practical and smart when it came to finances, and always gave generously to his kids and grandkids on birthdays and holidays. He wasn't prideful, and in fact made decisions that might have been impossible for some of his peers, like working as a caddy to continue golfing rather than staying with the country club. He planned ahead, and thought things through, and considered the needs of others before himself.Grandpa was always very proud of his family. We knew it when we were young, not so much through his words but by his actions. He liked to take us to dinner at the country club and show us off to his friends there. In his later years, grace always included the words “and thank you for our family,” with tears and apologies. It's normal with age for people to lose some of their filters and say what is really on their minds, and what was really on his mind was love and gratitude for his family. How proud I feel to be his granddaughter, knowing that underneath whatever exterior he held to the world lay pride and love. I saw his pride when Joanne and Claire came in the room, in his smile and the questions he asked Claire about her school, her job, where she was living. I saw it when Henry and Annaliese and Lucy came in, showing him the latest pictures of their adventures and talking about the life they built in Northfield. I heard about it when Dave flew in for a visit, how pleased they were to see him and thankful he made the trip. I saw it when Paige and Joanne and Lucy came and helped and spent time helping him through the changes and moves that came in the last few years. And I saw it when I came and brought my daughter, his great grandchild, by the way he interacted with her, and wore her necklaces that she made for him, accepted her rainbow tattoos on his arms and glitter gems on his fingernails. He was so proud of all of us, and so grateful.