Thank you ma'am, may I have another?

If you ever have an opportunity to visit a Korean spa, I urge you to get yourself a body scrub. It is an experience which compares to no other, in my opinion. Prior to my first scrub, I had read a review describing some of the details, which pretty much gave me the idea that you would have to be crazy to do this voluntarily. But curiosity got the best of me when the opportunity arose, and I found myself nervously soaking in the hot pools awaiting my fate.

I can't speak for any other Korean spas, but the one I frequent is a very interesting mix of tranquility and warmth with an somewhat para-military level of rules and order. Upon check-in, everyone is issued a thin robe, cloth shower cap and a number. You are expected to remove your shoes and don the regulation wear, though in the soaking and scrubbing area you wear only the cap. Signs are posted everywhere with strict rules about how many cups of water one is to drink prior to entering heated rooms, how long one is to soak and in which temperature pools prior to being scrubbed, and between which areas and events showers are required. For the novice spa-goer seeking relaxation, there is a lot to worry about.

So, after your 30 - 40 minute soak in the 97 or 104 degree pools, one of the scrub ladies comes around calling your number. You hop to and she leads you back into the not particularly private scrub area, where a long row of waterproof massage tables line up like kitchen prep stations. On busy days, there are bodies in various states of lather all down the row. It's actually rather hard to be self-conscious looking down the line, even when you are about to be laid out like a slab of meat to be marinated and tenderized on the table, because everywhere you turn it's just more skin and every shape and size of body one could imagine. (Don't let the photo deceive you, there are not actually any privacy screens hanging between stations.)

The order is always the same. Lie on your belly, and the scrubbing starts at your right heel and works up your entire right side and down the left. Hot water from a big bowl for a rinse, 2 or 3 washes, then again, right to left. Some scrubbers are more vigorous than others, but basically it ranges from velcro through brillo pad to steel wool in intensity. Usually not to the point of pain, but always to the point of the outer 3 or 4 layers of skin sloughing off around you in dirty, shameful little piles. I thought I knew how to shower and I employ loofah and scrub brush, but you simply cannot scrub your own skin with the force and determination of a Korean scrub lady.

Next you turn to one side, 2 scrubs, 2 rinses, then the other side, repeat. Then on your back, 2 scrubs, 2 rinses, and you are into the recovery phase. A gentle scrub for the face followed by steaming towels. A fresh steaming towel over your face while the sudsy massage takes a spin through. More hot water rinses and steaming towels on shoulders. Then a return to your belly, more sudsy massage, more steaming towels with a final squeeze. Sit up, more rinsing, more steaming towels, then boom, you're left to stagger out while the scrub lady gets her station ready for the next lucky customer.

It might not sound like your cup of tea, and it's certainly not for the faint of heart. There is no part of you left unscrubbed. This is no American-style massage, with careful draping and the pretense that your naked body is not really being handled all over by a stranger. You are out there, bright lights, big city, Korean lady. But when you run your fingers over your skin, you cannot recognize yourself, because it feels like a baby's cheek. You keep feeling it because it is such a strange sensation to touch your own skin and have it feel like it belongs to someone else, someone much younger who takes much better care of themselves.

And while the rules and the robes feel a little like prison, they are also oddly freeing. I guess the donning of the shower cap is kind of a great equalizer -- you are just another big bag of skin to be scrubbed up and shipped off, and there's not a lot of room to worry about what anyone else thinks.