The Real Truth

Many people I know tell me that high school was a very bad experience for them, full of painful memories and a sense of not belonging. I imagine that this is true for many others, and I suppose that shared experience is part of what draws people together later in life. I understand why people feel that way, and while I certainly have reasons to be glad to have survived my teens, I also am lucky to have mostly positive memories of high school. I was busy, had friends, had some incredible experiences, and figured out a lot about myself and what I wanted from life.

For me, the time of life I can almost not bear to remember came before high school. Much of my eighth grade year was spent lonely, confused and embarrassed. With the exception of one new friend and a few not so close ones, everything in my world turned for the worse and by the summer before high school I was probably clinically depressed.

Which may be part of why high school didn't suck for me. I entered it so incredibly determined to start fresh, to make some new friends and move on from whatever had made the year before so unbearable.

I haven't spent a lot of time pondering the reasons why I had such a low time back then. I have had them at other points in my life, and have been lucky enough to find ways out. But when I saw a photo posted on Facebook by someone from my eighth grade class, I decided that the real reason I was unhappy wasn't teenage girl trouble at all, it was fashion. This photo is from our eighth grade graduation.Clearly, we were dressed for marriage to a 55 year-old FLDS member (all of us to the same one), and I was simply depressed over the fact that I was headed to a life of ignorance and hardship. And bearing 14 children who would be the property of some other old man some day. The only thing missing are the hairdos.