On the Road Again

Dear Other Drivers,

Remember Driver's Ed? Remember those rules that you had to take a test on before they let you behind the wheel of a car? Like using a turn signal, checking your blind spot and stopping when the traffic signal turns red? No? Oh, right, silly question, I see evidence every day that you don't remember. But guess what? Those rules actually still apply! Yes, even after you pass the multiple choice test, and forget how many feet from a driveway you can park, there are some basic things that make life on the road more pleasant for everyone.

For example, Mr. Mercedes from yesterday morning on 80th at 7:20 a.m., a double yellow line is a no passing zone. This means that even if the driver in front of you (that would be me) is not riding the bumper of the car in front of her (perhaps due to the fact that there are many, many cars in a long line slowly making their way up the hill, so there really is no point in tailgating), you should not accelerate to 50 miles an hour, zoom into the oncoming traffic's lane, and zoom back in front of her, slamming on the brakes to avoid rear-ending the next car. While I did appreciate that you would be tailgating the person in front of me rather than tailgating me, I felt it was a little bit dangerous to go to such a tremendously dangerous effort to do so.

And how about you, Ms. Volvo station wagon on the same street, coming off the off-ramp from I-5 and heading east on 80th over the freeway at 7:45 this morning? Was it really necessary to occupy both lanes, straddling the dividing line and using no turn signals to let anyone else know your plans? And were they good plans? I think not. Since the other cars ahead of you were waiting for the red light, there really was no need to zoom around the cars in the turn-lane in order that you be next to wait at the light. Because actually, you were next even if you were behind the turning cars. No one was moving, but you managed to find a way to continue driving.

So, drivers, since I am sure you won't be heeding the advice in this informative letter, I suggest that you head over to the Department of Licensing and pick up a handy brochure. Maybe take a practice test and see how you score. And this time, try to remember what it is that you learned.

Sincerely,

Christine

Dear Drivers

Dear Drivers,

I regret to inform you that when I stopped in the right lane this afternoon to let a fire truck with sirens blaring and lights flashing merge onto the freeway, I did not do so in order that you might pass me on the right at great speed. I am also fairly certain that continuing to accelerate in order to make use of the path other drivers have cleared for the emergency vehicle is not the appropriate course of action in this case.

Please be advised that in the future, when I am pulling over to allow the emergency vehicles to proceed to the scene of your impending traffic collision, I may be forced to remind you that you had been given fair warning.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Driver

Two Weeks' Notice, Round Two

Dear President Bush,

This letter will serve as my two weeks' notice as a citizen of a country led by you as president and commander in chief. I am pleased to announce that I will be resigning from hearing your voice on my radio. (To be honest, your voice on my radio has greatly increased my listening to previously recorded music rather than news broadcasts in the last few years.) I will be resigning from false rhetoric about "terrah" and its threat to "Uhmerca." I bid farewell to the pockets of defense contractors in which you dwell. (At some point, anyway, when we are done cleaning up after this administration's greed and short-sightedness.)

I resign from "No Child Left Untested." I no longer wish to be employed as a speech and language pathologist by someone who would greatly benefit from my services. I quit tax breaks for the wealthy and the largest loss of jobs for the citizens of the United States in 34 years.

Goodbye to a leader not of the people, or by the people (or the popular vote), or for the people (Katrina?).

Sincerely yours,
for only fourteen more, short days,

Christine A. Dunbar